Dearest Egg Sammy from Smile,
The truth is, you were never good to me.
Sure, you had the right intentions. You tried your best to make me happy–and I’m not saying your attempts were all in vain. In fact, I will never forget that Sunday morning; it was pouring outside and I was aimlessly wandering around Bond Street, losing myself to desires of deli coffee and foodstuff. But I found you instead. I guess, we kind of found each other. You came to me by way of freshly brewed coffee and oven-fresh baked goods, those scents wafting through the empty street. I came to you with an insatiable longing for the savory bite of egg, cheese, bacon, and biscuit-heaven. You heard my hunger pains. I heard your bacon sizzling. So I braved the storm. And we made love.
Look—it’s not you, it’s me. Whole Foods’ whole wheat English muffins and farm fresh eggs sauntered into my life and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve changed. But I’ll always remember that Sunday morning.